The Muses were the goddesses of human inspirations. The Fates were Atropos, Clotho and Lachesis, who were in charge of watching over fate.
(a work in progress, so "Pt.1")
Published on January 23, 2006 By thecatknows In Personal Relationships
1. General Guidelines:

(1)
Don't do dates. Really, they're just bad bad bad. Start off by being friends and hang out, don't suggest a date because there is just no good way to turn one down.
(2)Dont try hard to impress, if you don't naturally then it's just not going to happen.
(3)Start off slow. Being over-eager says a lot about you, and not much of it is positive.
(4)Don't get 'hot and heavy' in public. Eww. Have some discretion.
(5)Don't suggest finding a place so as to get 'hot and heavy' if, a. it is not your house, b. there are other people in the house, c. you're not even in a house/building/etc.See also (1.4).
(6)Caution if undetratking the role of 'friends with benefits'. This is not a relationship, do not treat it as such.
(7)Not all friends are eligible for role outlined in (1.6).
(8)Don't be a victim. See also (4.2), (4.6).

2. Interaction:

(1)Don't feel that you need to project your voice. Generally there is only a maximum of 3 people that may at one time need to hear you speak. It's really unattractive if the entirety of a room can hear what you're saying.
(2)Speaking loudly does not make you seem intelligent. Neither does enunciating every letter in every word.
(3)Don't mutter or speak so quietly that you are inaudible, see also (2.1).
(4)You really don't need to know everything. And don't have something to say something about everything. You can't always be the expert.
(5)You may not like something, but don't criticise it to death - have an opinion, not a vendetta.
(6)Talking about past relationships from the outset is a big no no. That's the sort of thing you're meant to find out gradually, don't be pushy.
(7)Some things just aren't for talking about. Get the hint.
(8)If you expess an opinion or make a comment, have knowledge to back it up but use it in moderation. See (2.4)

3. At Lunch/Dinner/etc:

(1)Don't suggest lunch if you don't mean to pay for it. Especially if the outing consists of going to lunch, and isn't merely going out and 'oh look at the time am starved'.
(2)If you don't mean to pay, it is preferable to choose somewhere cheap to eat (nothing wrong with fast food!) as opposed to a sit-down restaurant.
(3)Always finish your meal if the girl is and don't eat faster than her or finish eating first. Most importantly, never accuse her of not eating.
(4)See (2) Guidelines for Interaction.

4. Protocol:

(1)There is a 'tester' period for everything. During this time, don't try to jump straight in, it's a tester because it's when suitability is decided.
(2)Don't be sore about breakups done during the period outlined in (4.1).
(3)With regards to money, for an example see (3.1) and (3.2), do not insist on being paid back. Generally you will be, but if the expenditure was your idea, you should volunteer to cover it.
(4)With regards to debt, see (4.3), It would be gallant not to accept repayment when it is offered.
(5)If money is needed, contrary to (4.4), and the exact ammount is unknown, accept less than what is offered. For example, if £10 is offered for the debt, aceept only £8 maximum. £5 would be preferable.
(6)If a phone call goes unanswered, do not phone again straight away. Leaving more than two 'missed calls' makes you look very bad, see (1.3).
(7)Don't crowd; Crowding can be done through texts, phoning, msn/im/email/etc. See (4.6).




That's all I have for now. More to be added. Please comment suggestions. xxx

Comments
on Jan 23, 2006
So you found JU.  I will not argue with you.  Rant away.
on Jan 23, 2006
(5)Don't suggest finding a place so as to get 'hot and heavy' if, a. it is not your house, b. there are other people in the house, c. you're not even in a house/building/etc.See also (1.4).

I don't know if this refers to just when you first meet someone, or later on down the road, but keep in mind that some people (women) enjoy getting 'hot and heavy' in strange and unusual places...
on Jan 24, 2006
I imagine you're alone at the moment. If you aren't you ought to be. Goddamn you're one tight-assed control freak.
on Jan 24, 2006
The guidelines provided seem decent and good.

I would guess these are probably the best guidelines for dating you.

Every woman is different and I believe, generally, that women dismiss men who try to conform to every wish they have.
on Jan 24, 2006
Hehe. It looks like you put a lot of effort and thought into this. It's really cute.

Here's MY general guidelines (I'm married sooo...):

1)Take me out on dates. Not so often that we can't afford to pay bills, but once or twice a month would be cool. You know, just to get away from the children.
(2)Try to impress me. It won't take much, and you WILL be rewarded. Wow me with some obscure fact, do a bunch of push-ups, or make fun of someone we both know.
(3)Start off slow or rush, whatever.
(4)Grab my ass in the grocery store or give me a passionate kiss at a concert. PDAs let me know that you're happy to be with me and don't care what other people think about that.
(5)By all means, suggest a place to get hot and heavy. Think the kids will stay in their room playing video games long enough that we can do it on the couch?
(6)You can be a victim sometimes if you need to be. I like to take care of you and occasional weakness can be really endearing.
(7)Earn a paycheck and I promise I'll make sure you have clean socks and underwear and a decent hot meal every night.