A Teacher's Allure
No matter how great a feminist a woman may claim to be, I assure you that deep down, at least 99% of all women have a desire to be dominated: spiritually, sexually, and intellectually. The wish to dominate is a part of human nature, and peop0le are fascinated by the idea of relinquishing this dominance to another’s control. The legacy of boss/employee and teacher/student ‘fixations’ is not a new one, and has long been questioned by the relevant authorities – when does leadership become manipulation? Or, more importantly, when does respect become obsession? I am certain that a teenager, every woman has been held in the clasp of one crush or another, and personally, there are several names which have haunted me as I tried to bring some order into my thoughts. Some of these names (even now I find myself to embarrassed to divulge them) I am almost sure that I merely admired because of their superior intellect; intelligence is a prized asset in my eyes. Others, I idolized because they appeared to have what I consider to be a ‘beautiful personality’. That is, kindness, humour, understanding, appreciation…
I read a fanfiction story yesterday that details the relationship between two characters, a teacher and his student, and was fascinated by the idea that even though he was not handsome, as the story acknowledges, he still embodies a certain… allure that was appealing to the heroine.
"Ugly and unkempt as he undoubtedly was by any objective standard, Snape had never truly understood that his air of self-belief and arrogance made him a compelling personality."
Is it true that a person’s aura can affect your perception of them so strongly? Various real-life specimens point to the contrary, for example, the infamous David Beckham, who is somewhat attractive but is lacking in both brain matter and personality. He is entirely two dimensional, yet women around the world still worship him. So what is David Beckham? Obviously, he’s a football player and has a reasonably good reputation as such. He is also a husband and a father, which could be one of the motivating factors for the women that like him. He is a trend-setter and is renowned for starting random crazes for hairstyles, sarongs, and giant diamond man-earrings – one in each ear. I have never understood how he has managed to create such a commercial image that whenever he changes his hairstyle, the world seems to stop and rush to the hairdresser to copy him. Why would you want to look like David Beckham? Be honest, he’s a woman that’s dying to get out!
Anyway, I digress. The question at hand is, why do authority figures have that indistinct power to make a woman’s knees go weak?
Human nature would suggest that this is somehow related to the eternal search for power, danger, and guidance. Moreover, being the greedy race that we are, we always desire what we cannot have. Freud, the sex-obsessed man that he was, seemed to believe that every man was secretly attracted to his mother, and that every woman was secretly attracted to her father. Could this hold some grain of truth in it that will explain why a forty year old man can seem to be the most attractive thing on the planet? If we truly admire our superiors because we are projecting these paternal figures onto them, then perhaps what we desire to achieve is regression to our childish states, in which we could wholly rely on another and trust in them unquestioningly.
In a relationship, trust is believed to be one of the main components, trust that ranges from total honesty, to mutual understanding and a certain aspect of security. Our bosses and teachers are, I believe, sources that provide us with all of these things, and we rely on them to ensure our well being in the professional aspects of our lives. This dependence is reminiscent to our relationship with our families, and echoes the inborn desire to start a relationship similar to that of your parents; to trust and to be trusted, to depend and be depended on, to commence a family of our own. An older man seems to be able to provide such a rich carpet of qualities that the few flaws are often unnoticed. Face it, a twenty or thirty year age gap is not to be laughed at; it’s a big number, regardless of whether you mind it or not, and as a superior, this person would have a responsibility for you. Situations could become awkward, whether in a working environment or in an educational one. People are often called promiscuous, and labelled as wanting to sleep their way to the top, a phrase that is commonly used in situations where promotions at work are in question. In a college or university, one can be accused of trying to win high grades in an underhand way, and just imagine having to continue the teacher/student relationship during classes. An affair is not only part-time.
Nonetheless, there are known cases of such relationships actually developing… as to their long-term success I do not know, but in the long run, it proves that there is hope, doesn’t it? And their allure? It is eternal, and fifty years from now, the next generation will sit in their offices and classrooms, gazing eagerly at the object of idyllic affections and wonder what it is that they feel. Maybe it is a strange (and disturbing) desire to have the only person that can never be theirs. Maybe it’s just one of the trials of youth that one must suffer way beyond adulthood. Maybe it’s a gift that should – and can – be taken by those that have the courage to do so. Are you brave enough?
Disclaimer: Quote taken from The Fire and the Rose II, by Abby and Anne